I actually planned to do absolutely nothing! I learned over the last four years of Father's Day that it doesn't matter what I do, I will always experience a myriad of emotions and thoughts that inevitably hit me smack dab in the face. I kinda like my face, so I don't like the emotions and thoughts. (That's very heady, I know, but work with me here!)
The day started ok until my girls woke up. I had gotten one cup of coffee in, goat milk and thieves essential oil added, and went to go wake up Yana. It's Sunday, ya'll! I let her sleep in! She woke up her usual way, at a slow yet steady pace. Mac was already up, as I heard her giggling over something she was presumably watching on her phone. This was the day to do nothing right? So, I decided to do something...with the girls...who had been up only a short time. What was I thinking?! Two teenage girls, summer vacation, blankets, and pillows - what could go wrong?! Me to the girls: hey lets go do a Starbucks run! Reluctantly or with little motivation to move beyond their current space, I got ready to go - with or without them. Thirty minutes later and some teenage angst, we headed out the door. Yay me! (insert sarcastic tone here
We got in the van, rolled down the window, and began to do what made my day start getting a little better - turned up the music. Thank goodness my car has bluetooth capabilities! Yana was the DJ and we sang, wind in our hair, driving down the highway to the local Starbucks. I've got rewards I need to accumulate here! Haha! Mac spotted mom and Papa Ed who were just coming into the parking lot - same parking lot as us! Mac gave mom a ring and moments later, we were sitting at Boudin's having brunch together. Now, stay with me here! I wanted to do nothing! I requested Starbucks with my girls. I drove with them to the Starbucks location. Mom and Papa Ed were on their own. We "ended up" in the same place. ***Insert God speaking LOUDLY to me here*** We may make our plans, but God guides our steps! Ok! Ok! Yes, Lord!
Sat down at Boudin's after ordering, grabbing our free sourdough (that I can't eat cause of my crazy food sensitivities) and began to have a pretty decent family meal. I'm getting it by this time that I have to let go of my own plans when I'm faced with moments that are showing me that I need others (even if I don't feel like it). We end our meal, going our separate ways, and Mac decides she wants to go to the storage unit where she wants to find THE t-shirt. THE t-shirt happens to be the shirt with her handprints on it that we made with her for her daddy when she was 2 years old. Ugh! Trigger emotional stuff #1. We get to the unit and pick up what we need, Yana picking up a tie that was Daniel's. Ok! No avoiding that trigger! Fine! I'm relenting to the plans that are not my own!
Mac went to her church and Yana and I stayed home. I had already planned to not go to church today. I did not need to explain to others why I was a blubbering mess or moody! The rest of the day went pretty chill. My nieces came over, we sang Happy Father's Day to Papa Ed, and everyone did their own thing. I was pretty much happy with this as I originally did not want to do anything. ***Insert more plans that were not my own here!***
Somehow through sorting out of pictures and memorabilia of Daniel, the girls, and such, it reminded me of what God's been speaking to me through - a visual image of wings and roots. I didn't know why at the time, but I was prompted to get on my computer and start using my Cricut Design Space and my Adobe Stock to build the logo that you see. Three hours, super focused and scrutinizing every detail (this isn't new people!), I end up sharing the logo with two dear ladies who have been super wonderful in encouraging me to step out of my comfort zone and into the unknown.
Ending up here, I write my first blog for what I hope will be a website full of love, laughter, tears, angst, and other things. More importantly, I hope to share my journey, a testimony written down, of how God is continuing to transform this lady - widow, solo mom, education passionate lady, etc. - into the image He wants me to go towards - the image of Christ! Thank goodness I don't have to do it on my own! Won't you walk with me on this journey? I have much to learn about wings and roots! Grab your coffee and have a sit! Let's learn together!!
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